Ex-Boyfriend D

So many things have happened in a blink of an eye. Boyfriend D and I are no longer together. It turned out that he is struggling with his sexuality and faith. While we were together, he kept everything to himself and it ate him away. He now believes that God will change him and turn him straight.  He decided that we should cut all the contact. Well, I have accepted that it is something beyond my control and he is gone. Moving On 101 begins, I guess.

Time will pass and the pain will go away someday

I guess if I ever refer to him again, it would be ex-Boyfriend D.

Happy Valentine's Day

I am back in Thailand for a long holiday at home and hopefully I will have more free time to blog more regular from now on.

Our 1 year anniversary was just a few weeks ago and somehow I booked a flight from Melbourne to Bangkok on that date! I had a lapse of memory and booked with an odd feeling when I looked at the date. From time to time, I made a judgement like this and it's so embarrassing. Boyfriend D still makes a joke about this :D

Lovely deliciousness

Boyfriend D and I have been together just over one year. Last year, I was on a university placement, drove to Sydney and didn't have the chance to spend Valentine's Day with him. Once I got back, I gave him a belated Valentine: a red rose and a box of macarons. Generally, Boyfriend D eats too quickly and devours everything within seconds. He treasured the macarons too much and ate them too slowly that I was concerned they might be spoiled before he finished them.

Things are anti-climatic this year. We are not even not the same continent and there is a 4 hours time different. It makes communication somewhat difficult. There were so many couples acting lovey-dovey everywhere and I wished I could be with Boyfriend D. I texted him a picture below and saying that I miss cuddling him.

Cuddle me please~

How was your Valentine's Day?

Externship, Relationship and Residency

I really enjoyed my externship at the University of Glasgow. The pathology department was quite chill out, and my supervisor was great. I had learnt heaps, and applied my knowledge into diagnostic aspect of veterinary medicine. I had read several histopathology slides, describing the tissue change and providing diagnosis. My supervisor was happy with my performance, and she believed that I am at the level of late first year resident - My head just blew up like a balloon that day, yays. Then I was given real cases that I needed to write a report back to clinicians. I was thrilled, and I got them right, yip yip!

I had discussed the residency program in veterinary anatomical pathology and training for the board certification with my superviser. We had a long talk, and I decided that it wouldn't hurt to apply for this year (If I get in, I would start as a resident next July). I had shortlisted the residency program according to their training quality and location. Well, I would be spending three years of my life (or six years if I'm doing a combined PhD-residency program) at one of these if I get in:

The Royal Veterinary College, London, UK
University of Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Cornell University, New York, USA
UCDavis, California, USA

This meant I would need to move to another country once I am accepted in. It is unfortunate that the training system in Australia has not been very well established. All of my lecturers and professors in pathology had recommended me to train in either USA or UK. Funnily enough, one of them said "Just do it while you are young and have no attachment. When you are single, there aren't many things to worry about". It seemed like that is not the case for me anymore.

A path to walk

This brought in another issue about moving, which I would need to properly discuss with Boyfriend D once I get back to Melbourne. I had sent a long email to Boyfriend D, explaining the whole situation. Early on in our relationship, I told him that after a few years of practising as a veterinarian, I would be moving to another country for a residency program. The plan had changed, and that might happen a lot earlier than we expected.

Boyfriend D felt unsure about everything. He seemed unease, but understood that it's my dream to become a veterinary pathologist. He said that he would be mad if I don't aim for the best, and pursue my dream.

Even though I might not get it, I had thought of several case scenarios. I had had a few long walk to think through and consider all the options. The issue was rather tricky, and I realised that this may soon become our first relationship crisis, if we don't think through and communicate properly.

I had been mentally exhausted, and felt a bit down recently. At times like this, I just wanted to hold Boyfriend D tight, and tell him how much I love him. Now I understand how agonising it is to decide between your career and family. This would be one of the crucial forked paths of my life.

Travelling time

Meeting the family sort of went well. I introduced Boyfriend D just as a good friend. My mum's cooking was nice and homey, but bit too hot for Boyfriend D, A, and including myself! It was a delicious agony as we coped with the spiciness. I think I must have lost the ability to eat spicy food. Then my mum was concerned that Boyfriend D did not eat very much. Hmmm, she was very observant. And before half way through the wine tasting, my mum and sister got bored so they left earlier, lol. I'm glad that Boyfriend D met my mum and sister even though they didn't talk much. This will be a reference when I came out to my family. I have just driven them to the airport and now I'm getting a bit homesick - I can't believe it.

As the topic suggests, it is really a travelling time. Boyfriend D has gone back to New Zealand for a week. He is not out yet, so our contact at the moment is kept minimal. We are just being super cautious, as he is staying with parents and doesn't want his family to get suspicious.

Glasgow summer is colder than Melbourne winter. How do these guys cope with the breeze?

Before Boyfriend D gets back to Melbourne, I'm leaving for an externship in veterinary anatomical pathology at the University of Glasgow, Scotland for a month. It will be my first time travelling to Europe. I'm feeling both excited and nervous, as I'm setting a step closer to my dream. Also I have a thing for guys wearing kilts, haha. It would be nice to try them on and immerse myself into the Scottish culture, and try everything. No offense to everyone, but I have been warned that they speak funny there. Hopefully, I will be able to make sense of the Scottish accent. Boyfriend D also has both Irish and Scottish family background, though he only speaks English with a Kiwi accent. I just know that different tartan patterns relate different clans or family groups, though tourists often just pick the pattern they like. I will need to find the pattern that relates to Boyfriend D's family then. Anyone have any suggestion of the things to do and must-do's in Scotland? So far I have got: eating Haggis, getting a photo of myself mooning in kilts, hiking, visiting Loch Lomond, Scottish folk dancing (one of the vets at uni told me),  and learning Scottish slangs.

Wine tasting and meet the family impromptu

My mum and sister are visiting Melbourne soon, and they will be staying with me for a few weeks. My mum is quite a foodie, and she can be a little snobby when it comes to food sometimes. I will be taking them both around Melbourne for gourmet food. It turns out there is a French wine tasting at the wine bar, close to my place. It's free, so we are not missing that for sure.

It will be rather a special night for sure.

At first, I was planning to go with Boyfriend D, but I can't leave my family behind. So I managed to get all of us going to the wine tasting. I have also invited my close friend A since he also enjoys wine. The whole thing would be less like meet-the-family. This would make things less awkward for Boyfriend D, and they both have met when we went out for dinner and drinks. I am somewhat nervous as well, and having A there would help me out. As I'm not out to my family yet, I am a bit scared of slipping out or getting a bit too intimate with Boyfriend D. It is not the right time yet, and I have planned to tell my family after graduation in December this year.

On the bright side, my mum has also decided to cook us dinner that night. She is very accommodating when it comes to my friends, and she loves cooking extra food so I can bring some to share. So we will have a Thai home cooking before we head off for the fine wine. We all enjoy good wine, but we are no wine snobs. Hopefully, we will be able to appreciate what we are drinking. Now I also wonder how much more accommodating my mum would be to D once she realises that D isn't just a friend :)

A date with Boyfriend D

Boyfriend D and I went out to see The Avengers 3D. It is one of the films I highly anticipate for this year. In the cinema, I put my coat in the middle between our seat, so that I could sneakily hold Boyfriend's D hand. Unfortunately, he wasn't very keen since we were sitting right in the middle, and the cinema was packed full with people. In term of coming out, he is still in the closet, so he doesn't feel at ease with public display of affection, as I am yet. Anyway, the film was great, and we were kept was on the edge of our seat.

Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans - quality eye candy x2

After that, we went searching for a place to munch for dinner. Boyfriend D has not had much experience with Asian food, especially Thai food. So we decided to check out Chin Chin, only to find out that we would have to wait an hour for a table. With our soon-to-rumble stomach, we changed our plan and headed to Ajisen Ramen. It was nice to have hot ramen on a cold Melbournian night.

Then we took a tram back to my place. When we got inside, the first thing he did was turned on the heater, and made himself comfy in my bed. It is interesting how we both handle cold weather differently. He hates the cold despite being a Kiwi, while I love it despite growing up in Thailand. I stay warm and get hot easily, and don't seem to handle the heat well nowadays. So it was left to me to cuddle and warm him up, before we made our way to a wine bar as we initially intended. The Valley Cellardoor is just a stroll away from my place. I got a glass of Pinot Noir and Boyfriend D got a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. Two grown men intimately sitting close to each other, drinking wine - it doesn't get more gay, does it? We relaxed and enjoyed our wine, and talked a fair bit (or more correctly, I talked).

It was a lovely night overall. Perhaps, we can go for a chick flick next time. Then I would have a better chance of getting slightly lovey-dovey, haha.

Busy busy busy!

It has been more than a month since I made a post. My life as a final year vet student has been keeping me busy with rotations and assignments. So far, I have been in general practice, diagnostic imaging ie. radiology, ultrasonography (ultrasound), pathology, anaesthesiology, food production animal (cattle, alpacas and sheep medicine), small animal medicine, critical care and emergency, equine medicine...and the list goes on.

I have been surviving through on a weekly basis and feel slightly sleep-deprived. This year has been very intellectually challenging and the learning curve is steep. As of May, I only have around 7 months before I graduate. To be honest, I don't feel quite ready yet. Hopefully, I will gain more confidence and skills then become a lot more competent before December.

Apart from studying, I have been travelling from placement to placement. I have also managed to get an externship in veterinary pathology in Scotland. I have always been dreaming to travel to UK. This means I will have a month to enjoy the Scottish culture and try the local delicacy - kilt and haggis!

That is a pure Scottish Terrier there (or Irish, perhaps?)

Just a quick update on Boyfriend D. Everything has been going well. Now that I'm used to cuddle him in bed, it feels weird when I'm sleeping by myself. I should get a bolster when I'm going away, perhaps?

Boyfriend D

I met D about 2 months ago through Grindr. We chatted and messaged for a week before I invited him for a drink at my place. To be frank, I didn't plan anything other than having a good beer talk and getting to know each other better. It somehow progressed from sitting on a coach watching Aussie Open drinking Fat Yak to some activities and cuddling. We had a midnight snack and he stayed over night.

Spoon me, please

We talked about how did we ended in bed - I blamed him for starting the kiss while he blamed me for seducing him. He said that inviting a gay guy over for a drink is a recipe for something to happen, and how naive I was, lol. A week later, we went cycling along Capital City Trail and had a brunch out at St. Ali. As we got to know each other more, we found that we have a fair number of things in common - coffee, wine, cycling, fine arts, classical music, and Cooking! At first, I thought he is a local, but it turned out he is a Kiwi. So I got him to make some good lamb roast. I have to admit seeing a guy wearing an apron is a big turn-on :) We talked a lot about relationship and how it should be constructed, as he wasn't ready for a relationship and I never dated a guy before.

Then we decided to make it official and made the date that we're actually a couple. So far everything has been great. I still remember there was time when I almost gave up the hope of having a boyfriend, and just date women instead. My mates now start pestering me about when they get to meet the lucky guy. They are a nosy funny bunch, aren't they?

Coming out to high school besties

I just had a housewarming for my high school close friends on St. Patrick's day.  They were away when I threw the first housewarming party a while back, so this one was for them. There were four of us that are quite close and still in Melbourne - a few others have moved elsewhere, and the contact sort of fades. I have been thinking about this for ages, but could not bring it up at all even though one of them had asked me if I'm gay previously. Well, I shot off "Nah" quickly without hesitation then explaining how my uni life keeps me busy from finding a girl- the best defence is a quick answer that sounds genuine, isn't it? However, she even said she's okay if I am, despite me saying "Nah". Girls are usually pretty good at this stuff, eh?

To my high school mates, at last

S, A and B are my high school friends. We have known each other for roughly 7 years. They were all invited, but B got an emergency work call and S came a bit later with her boyfriend. After having some Mojito that I made, we sat leisurely listening to my heart-felt iPod playlist. The night was good and homey. I had my courage up, but could not find the right timing. Right after they left my place, I decided that I wouldn't want to keep it away from them anymore, so I texted S, A, and B saying that I have a boyfriend. Even though B didn't come to the housewarming, I wanted everyone in the circle to be on the same page.

The summary of their response is as followed:

S: She said "Congrats" and told me that she is very happy for me. Then she wanted me to tell her about my boyfriend D. She tried to stalk him on Facebook, but couldn't see much, so she asked me a photo. I obliged and her reply was " So cute! Well done, GVP :D" She also said that I have a lot of questions to answer her now.

A: He went "OoOoo, how come you didn't mention it earlier?" After that, he said that this doesn't change anything, and that we're still good friends. He also asked me to leave some time to hang out and for playing tennis with him too.

B: "Have a glass of wine for a new lol. I support you!" Then he said that he was sorry because he couldn't come to the party, and I can explain everything to him later when we catch up.

Although, they felt a bit upset that most of my vet mates have been told before them, everything went well. I feel a tad guilty for not having told them in person, but at least they all know now. They warned me that we will be having a long coffee/dinner with an interrogation session soon, haha.  Pretty soon, they will be asking me to drag my boyfriend D for our brunch out. It's a huge weight off my shoulders and another big step. The next would be my family at the end of this year once I finished uni and become financially independent.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I don't think I have ever mentioned that my groupmate Z and I have a thing for English and Irish. And we are a big fan of bands like Celtic Thunder and Celtic Woman. We both aim to do further study and specialise in UK in the near future.

Green!

Well, he was busy studying, so I went out with my boyfriend D for an Irish lunch. Oppps, I just realised I haven't done a post dedicated to D yet - that is to be followed soon, I guess :) We decided to pope into The Elephant & Wheelbarrow Pub in the city. Everyone in the pub was wearing green except us, haha. There was a special Irish menu. I had Guiness pork sausages and a pint of Guiness while D went for a steak pie. And I got a Guiness St. Patrick's Day hat. The meal was great and the plates were clean. Then we were contemplating if we should have some sweet bites afterwards.

We heard someone playing a bagpipe as well. It could have gotten more Irish if there were kilts and a bit of folksongs :)